Things overheard in the secret world

Waiting while my wife tries on clothes at White House/Black Market, I saw a glimpse into womens' dressing room subculture. A teenager tried on high heels, but commented "my calves look too muscular." The store clerk, also a teenaged girl (one of several), quickly reassured her customer, "You want to have muscular calves."

Walking through the dressing room and into this conversation, another store clerk say, "Did I just hear what I think I've heard?"
"Why are you talking about muscular cows," she said. "I may want fat cows, but not muscular."

"No. Calves," her co-worker blurted. "Her legs."

Here's where the foolish tourist ventures into the middle of a world in which he has no business, no value, and no skilled defences...

"If it makes you feel better," I say turning to the red-faced clerk bearing he brunt of he girlish assaults on her coolness, "You weren't entirely wrong. Calfs are baby cows."

Smart, right? Wrong!
Now I've only succeeded in making myself stand out (more so than being the only guy sitting in a womens' dressing room). Now all he teenagers, including the customer still standing perched in front of a floor-to-ceiling mirror, say "he's just trying to make you feel better."

Ouch.